Being a Buddy vs Being a Mentor

At Sussex Online Speakers, we recognise that teaching, coaching, and mentoring are distinct ways experienced members can support newer members. Every member's journey is different, and the type of support they need will vary over time.​

• A teacher shares knowledge and explains how things work.

• A coach helps someone develop specific skills and improve performance through guidance and feedback.

• A mentor supports a member's longer-term growth, helping them identify goals, overcome challenges, and develop confidence as a communicator and leader.

In Toastmasters, mentors often wear more than one hat. A mentor may begin by teaching a new member how the club works, move into coaching them through speeches and meeting roles, and eventually become a trusted guide as they progress through their Toastmasters journey.

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The Buddy Role

The Buddy role has been created to focus on the early stages of a member's Toastmasters experience. A buddy helps new members get up and running by sharing knowledge, answering questions, and providing practical support during their first few weeks or months in the club.

​This role is ideal for members who have enough club experience to help newcomers find their feet but may not wish to make the longer-term commitment associated with mentoring.

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Buddy Goals

A buddy's aim is to help a new member become confident and self-sufficient in the basics of club membership. This includes helping them to:

• Log into the Toastmasters International Website, navigate their profile, choose a Pathway and become active in Base Camp.

• Use EasySpeak UK & Ireland to RSVP for meetings, sign up for roles, and request speech slots.

• Navigate the meeting agenda with confidence.

• Learn the purpose of common meeting roles and how to perform them.

• Build connections with other club members and feel part of the club community.

Once a member is comfortable with the fundamentals, they may choose to continue independently or request a mentor to support their longer-term development.

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Mentoring

​Your job is not to create a dependent member. Your job is to help them become a confident, independent Sussex Online Speaker who will one day mentor someone else. Mentors are encouraged to have, or be working on the Pathways Mentor Program.

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Key tips and guidance for mentors​

Set Clear Boundaries

Mentors and mentees should agree early on how they will work together, including how and when they will connect.

For example:

• Will you meet before or after club meetings?

• Will you communicate via email, WhatsApp, or EasySpeak?

• How quickly can the mentee expect a response to questions?

• How often will you check in with each other?

Setting clear expectations helps create a positive and sustainable mentoring relationship for both people.

Work Towards Mentee-Led Goals

Mentoring is most effective when it focuses on goals that are important to the mentee, rather than goals chosen by the mentor.

Examples of mentee goals might include:

• Becoming more confident speaking without notes.

• Completing Level 2 in Pathways.

• Developing stronger evaluation skills.

• Taking on a club officer role.

• Preparing for their first speech contest.

• The mentor's role is to support, encourage, and help the mentee explore options for achieving these goals.

Guide Through Questions Rather Than Giving Answers

Mentoring is about helping people think for themselves and develop their own solutions. Mentors are encouraged to use open-ended questions to explore ideas, build self-awareness, and encourage independent decision-making

Examples of mentoring questions:

• "What would success look like for you?"

• "What options have you considered?"

• "What part of that challenge concerns you most?"

• "What feedback have you received so far?"

• "What do you think your next step could be?"

Coaching vs. Mentoring Language examples:​

• ❌ "You should enter the contest next month." ✅ "How do you feel about entering a contest, and what would help you feel ready?"

• ❌ "Use humour in the second minute of your speech." ✅ "What reaction would you like your audience to have at that point in the speech?"

While mentors may occasionally share their own experiences and suggestions, their primary role is to guide development rather than provide detailed coaching, specific instructions, or step-by-step solutions.